Category: Guides

Arguments Against Gifting Flower Bouquets at Weddings

pink flower bouquet paper wrapped

This wedding season, I have already been to three different dos associated with marriages. And I made an observation in all three that has bothered me for years now. It is the general, settled tendency of gifting flower bouquets as presentation.

In India specifically, dressed up men and women enter large decorated halls or lawns with a bouquet in hand. They then queue up to meet and greet the bride and groom. When they reach the stage, they hand the bouquet over to the couple, awkwardly get themselves snapped, and walk towards the food section. All nice and easy. The problem? It feels entirely random and illogical to me.

Gifting a decorated bunch of flowers that none of the members of the family of the bride or the groom are ever going to look at and appreciate feels like a useless gesture even if the giver is credited for the thought of gifting rather than choosing to just go handsfree. It may have been considered auspicious – to gift flowers to someone you love and respect – but it lags behind, right at the bottom of the list of things that you can gift two people about to start a life together.

So, here are my arguments against the idea and why I think we need to stop doing it. If you are interested, I also have some alternative marriage gifting ideas at the end. But before that, here’s some history.

History of Gifting Flowers

As with every origin stories, tracing the history of flowers as a gift is difficult.

The usage of flowers as a show of love and/or respect dates back to the Victorian era. While the Greeks associated them with the gods, aristocratic Victorians used it as a legible form of expression (known as floriography) when verbal communication was restricted (early eighteenth century). According to Romie Scott, through Atlas Obscura, in the 19th century, people even had flower dictionaries to decode what a specific set of flowers from a person meant. For example, gifting a basil bouquet would mean expressing hate.

But history of flowers as something that you can give to someone alive or dead dates back to at least 70,000 years ago. Owen Edwards, writing for the Smithsonian Magazine, quotes an anthropologist and says that flowers were seen in burial grounds of the Neanderthals (i.e. in the last Ice Age). Therefore, it wouldn’t be wrong to state that flowers were associated more with death than joy or harmony or, in this context, matrimony. There’s no explanation why that was the case then same as how no one can explain currently why people choose to gift a bouquet of white lilies (associated with funerals) or pink roses or daffodils instead of an envelope filled with cash. Or a home decor item. Or a painting.

flowers for sale at a roadside store
Flowers for sale at a roadside store. This is common sight in metropolitan cities like Mumbai and Delhi / Michal Balog via Unsplash

Is it because it is the easy way out? Rajeev’s engagement? Is it tonight? We’ll get a posy on the way. Maybe. But then how difficult it is to buy a pack of assorted chocolates?

What Effect Do Flowers Have On Us?

The only sensible reason for gifting a bouquet, according to Penn State University’s Master Gardener Carolyn Black, is the therapeutic effect that flowers have on us.[1](The Joy of Giving Flowers – Carolyn Black, PennState Extension, 11 July 2012 – archived link) They have been proven to make us feel good both with their sight and smell, as was found through a series of studies made through 2005 by Professor of Psychology Jeannette Haviland-Jones and her husband Terry McGuire, Professor of Genetics, of the School of Arts and Sciences at Rutgers University. In one of those studies, Haviland-Jones gave participants one of three things as a thank-you gift for participating. They were a floral bouquet, a decorative candle, and a fruit basket. She found that the participants who received the bouquet responded with the ‘Duchenne smile’, known as the true smile (or ‘smizing’) because it involves the mouth, the cheeks, and the eyes. The other two options gave rise to duller responses; whereas those who received the floral bouquet claimed to be feeling happier than their counterparts even three days after the program. The analysis elicits something deeper about our relationship with flowers.[2]Researchers Jeannette Haviland-Jones and husband Terry McGuire explain why flowers may be potent mood elevators. (Flower Power – Rutgers Magazine, Leslie Garisto Pfaff, 2010)

McGuire, through his analysis in microbiology, concluded that humans and flowers are into coevolution. It means that both humans and flowers evolve in response to changes in each other. We help flowers multiply through gardening and they give back pleasure, one of the key things necessary for human survival. They also help reduce stress. There is also some evidence showing that we humans just feel good about flowers because some of them are precursor of fruit (as argued by conservationist Edward O Wilson), their odour and colour, and their symmetrical shapes and patterns.[3]Researchers Jeannette Haviland-Jones and husband Terry McGuire explain why flowers may be potent mood elevators. (Flower Power – Rutgers Magazine, Leslie Garisto Pfaff, 2010) It is also worth noting that the flower code of the Victorian era may have also contributed to our friendly relationship with the flowers as well as the superstitious symbolism that some of us still follow including country-specific notations. Did I mention lilies are linked to funerals[4]White lilies represent purity and can be construed as return to innocence in death. (How Flower-Obsessed Victorians Encoded Messages in Bouquets – Romie Scott, Atlas Obscura, 15 August 2016) and yellow flowers given to women signal a desire for a divorce?

This series of studies on mood, further advanced through iterations and analyses by the duo, gives substantial evidence to explain that flowers may act as powerful mood elevators. As a corollary of the study that I would like to add here, it also showed that a basket of fruits (perfect as a gift for pregnant people) and a decorative candle have lesser appeal than flowers. So, at least flower givers are placed higher on the list of thoughtful gifters and a bouquet, after all, is not as useless I stress it to be. But there’s another problem.

Why Is Floral Bouquet a Bad Gift Idea?

No one has the time to look at a bouquet of flowers during the slightly chaotic proceedings of a typical Indian wedding. There is so much at stake for everyone attending these events that bouquets are not on anyone’s area of focus. And, as we just found out, you have to look at the flowers (or at least acknowledge their presence) to receive stress-busting, feelgood, gratification.

Unfortunately, I have never observed floral bouquets being carried and taken along with other gifts after the ceremony. They usually are stashed at the backside of the dais until the housekeeping staff come in to clean up the mess for the next wedding. There are exceptions, I know, but when there is less space in the boot of the family cars, bouquets are the first item to be thrown to the bin. Then comes wall clocks and photo frames with ‘FAMILY’ written on them.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not opposed to the idea of gifting a red rose to a person you love to show your affection or as an apology. Even though it does sound habitual to me, it is a fine gesture and one that I’m told fares well if you are on a date (but make sure you follow it up with an avocado toast though). In case of it as a wedding gift, I’m only testing it as something that would give utility to the receiver. Which it doesn’t.

But what to do when you do receive them? The wise and the only thing to do when you receive a flower bouquet is to take it home, remove the flowers from the sponge base, put them in a vase, and use them as home decor for a few days. However, most of us are terrible with fresh flowers and that is another reason why bouquet gifting is a bad idea.

But if you are wild, there’s another thing you can do that I was told is a welcome idea amongst women. If you ever find yourself at the receiving end of a bouquet of red roses, this is what you can do. Take it home, pull out the flowers, remove the petals, put them in a bucket with lukewarm running water, and take a bath. Don’t ask me who’ll clean the bathroom afterwards but at least those flowers died for your and your skin’s happiness.

The slight difficulty in discarding also prevents people from fully taking in and enjoying the therapeutic power of a bouquet. It takes up space, and after a few days, you have to discard it. Otherwise, the odour emanating from them can end up having a negative effect on you.

Why Is It Still Popular?

As mentioned above, it is perhaps the most convenient gifting idea for any occasion. Stop the car at a florist en route to a function, grab a readymade bouquet, and you are sorted. It is also why busy people almost always choose to gift a bouquet rather than make an effort to buy something more personal.

L K Advani gifting a bouquet at a wedding
Invite politicians to your wedding and you are doomed. This is BJP strongman L K Advani and his aide at actress Esha Deol’s wedding reception (c. 2012) carrying what looks like either a bouquet he received at the entrance or that he is going to hand over to the couple / Wikimedia Commons via Bollywood Hungama

It shows that you care to not arrive handsfree but still thoughtful enough to have brought something along. No one complains unless someone starts writing a critical article about their habit which they have only learned from their elders and culture.

Another reason is the idea that people like to gift what they would like to receive themselves. They don’t much think about the person who will receive it and their interests. I would love to receive a bouquet of chrysanthemums so why won’t Manoj and Rakhee? This is all the more true for weddings because in most cases you only know either the bride or the groom. And even if you know one of them, how much do you know about their desires? (I often gift books to people without realizing that they are not interested in reading.)

It is also the safest gift to give. No harm done. You are neither silently accused of coming emptyhanded nor are judged for your taste in gifts. There’s nothing that can go wrong unless you decide to gift a chocolate bouquet, in which case I am going to report you to the police. There is nothing more ghastly than a chocolate bouquet even if it contains Ferrero Rocher globes. It’s absolutely unaesthetic. A preserved flower bouquet makes more sense to me then but it still has problems associated with fresh flowers.[5](31 Gifts For Every Type of Host – The Strategist, The New York Magazine, 15 November 2019)

More Arguments

I agree that it is better to gift a bouquet rather than going emptyhanded, especially if the invitation card mentions ‘no gifts please’. It’s slightly awkward to go in without anything even though you are supposed to be the most important people in any function as you are invited to congratulate the hosts. In case of a wedding, you as a guest are invited to congratulate and greet them. There’s actually nothing to feel awkward about but you still feel so.

Although more and more people are embracing the idea of giftless functions and unenthusiastically exploring wedding gift registries (led by millennials)[6](Why wedding gift registries are gaining popularity among millennials – Geetika Mantri, The News Minute, 27 September 2019) it is still a topic that puts invitees into anxiety. I was at a wedding reception at Powai in Mumbai recently where the hosts had specifically asked us not to bring any presentation. Since we went in groups of families, we automatically destroyed the awkwardness. At the function, I still found a lot many people carrying bouquets. At the end, I still found them stashed behind the stage.

guests queuing at wedding reception to meet bride groom mumbai india
A common sight at Indian weddings. Some of them are carrying bouquets, I can guarantee it

Moreover, even if the person you are gifting the flowers is good with handling and utilizing them, the happiness stays only for a few days. Unlike a more solid physical gift, flowers are not permanent. I would even go ahead and say that they are less memorable than a pack of chocolates.

But to reiterate the most important point, a floral bouquet as a gift does not give prolonged joy to a person. It’s effect is short-lived, however powerful. The possibility of alternatives makes it less thoughtful and more of a waste of money if you consider the high cost of flowers these days. For instance, compare it with a wall clock, one of the most common wedding gift items in India. A couple will use a clock at some point in their life even if it does not match their home’s palette or decor. This usually is followed by a quick discussion about who gifted it. This was gifted by Vikas for our fifth wedding anniversary. I think it was thoughtful of him because we had just moved to a new house. Or they’ll choose to regift it. With flower bouquets, neither is possible.

The point I’m trying to make is that it is high time we stop following the tradition of gifting floral bouquets and instead focus on more useful alternatives like those listed below. I like to think of it like this: it only satisfies the roadside florist that you decided to get the bouquet from. It neither projects you as a kind giver nor does it help the receiver bust their stress because of the dynamics found in such a crowded setting. It is time to accept that all the bouquets presented at a wedding reception end up in the nearest garbage bin. If nothing else, it is poor action on them by their evolution partners, us.

If you are still so mopey about bouquets, here’s an exception: they go well for housewarming dos. Hosts will enjoy a pack of flowers which will elevate the mood of the new house at least for a few days. But when you think about its alternatives, it still comes last on the list of modern wedding gift ideas.

Alternative Wedding Gift Ideas

As someone who has refrained from gifting bouquets for all my adult life, here are a few suggestions. These are not suitable for Secret Santa, another event that gives people anxiety, or so they say.

Cash in an Envelope

Another of the oldest gifting ideas, giving hard cash has maintained its status as the most useful gift for middle- and upper-middle class functions. Wedding costs money, and giving cash just shows that you have chipped in a little to help the couple start a new life.

Invest on elegant envelopes to add to the glamour. Enclose a note to make it more memorable and personal.


A case of Ferrero Rocher chocolates (also because they sell at discounted prices at DMart) has been my trademark gift of choice for soirees, engagement dos, and other small functions. I pack it nicely using a wrapping paper and pass it on without the traditional wish tag. I instead slide a note under the wrapping which often includes an NSFW message for the couple. If the host is health-conscious, there are nutritious chocolates and candies available too.

Whatever type of chocolate you chose, make sure you wrap it. No one likes to receive a bar of Cadbury Dairy Milk Silk with its bare brand covering.

Wedding Registry Items

If it’s a close friend, you can suggest them the idea of gift registries which are slowly becoming popular among Indians as well. You tie up with an online service provider like Wedding Wishlist, Zibonga, or Wishtry and create a list of items that you would like across a specific range. Send the list to your potential guests. They either buy and mark it on the list or buy it through the provider. This ensures you get only those stuff that you really want. No wall clocks, photo frames, or kitchen utensils.

The logistics involved in these providers are a bit complex. I would therefore recommend creating an Amazon wishlist and sharing it with friends. Thankfully, Wedding Wishlist already has Amazon India as a partner.

But then another hurdle here is the question of how you will share the link as well as the idea of ‘asking’ for gifts.[7](Why wedding gift registries are gaining popularity among millennials – Geetika Mantri, The News Minute, 27 September 2019) What about those baby boomers who don’t use smartphones? It’s tricky but a cool idea if it’s a small event with friends and family only.


This is not a personal favourite because it is like forcing someone to pay for a social cause. But having the option to do so for a cause that the married couple care about is a good idea. You can be sure that it will make them feel good.

Movie Gift Cards

Both BookMyShow (both electronic and physical cards; up to INR 10,000) and INOX (only electronic; up to INR 2,000) have gift cards that you can purchase. These cards usually have a validity of 12 months which is enough for a couple to move out of their post-wedding bliss period and start watching midnight shows together followed by dessert at Naturals, the only place to enjoy ice creams today. PVR gift cards (both electronic and physical cards; up to INR 1,000) are also recommended.

I have also seen people gifting Zomato Gold subscriptions but I wouldn’t recommend it due to my personal issues with the brand.

Resort Bookings

For your upper class friends, an all-paid stay at premium places in and around their city will be a great idea. This follows the ‘gift an experience’ fad. The Machan in Lonavala or Anchaviyo and Silent Hills resorts in Palghar are personal favourites and good recommendations.

If you are high on gifting experiences, a city darshan or an intercity trip are also good ideas. But again, the logistics involved will make it tricky. And, the timelines should also match.

Stuff Related to Matrimony

I recently read and liked Dr. Mahinder Watsa’s nonfiction sex-ed book It’s Normal. Since then I have gifted it to a close friend who is about to get married and promised it to another married friend. It is a good resource for Indian couples starting a new life as it debunks a lot of misconceptions about sex. Since no one likes to talk about it in open, a book that they can read in their privacy will help.

If your friends are not into reading, suggestions like sex toys (although illegal in India, are available) and other routine products, naughty board games, and wardrobe collections are always useful.

Gift a Part of the Wedding

If you are close to the couple, you can suggest contributing for the wedding. This is opposed to the idea of gifting cash.

If your friend has been sharing wedding planning details with you, why not suggest helping them out with one of the items? Hey Mahesh, I’ll take care of the music at your wedding reception. I know a Gujarati lady who’s a very good disco jockey. It’s on me as your wedding gift. It will never go unthanked.

I know that none of these ideas are novel but all I know is that they are all better than the age-old habit of gifting a flower bouquet. TN.


1 (The Joy of Giving Flowers – Carolyn Black, PennState Extension, 11 July 2012 – archived link)
2, 3 Researchers Jeannette Haviland-Jones and husband Terry McGuire explain why flowers may be potent mood elevators. (Flower Power – Rutgers Magazine, Leslie Garisto Pfaff, 2010)
4 White lilies represent purity and can be construed as return to innocence in death. (How Flower-Obsessed Victorians Encoded Messages in Bouquets – Romie Scott, Atlas Obscura, 15 August 2016)
5 (31 Gifts For Every Type of Host – The Strategist, The New York Magazine, 15 November 2019)
6, 7 (Why wedding gift registries are gaining popularity among millennials – Geetika Mantri, The News Minute, 27 September 2019)

The Definitive Guide to the MAMI Mumbai Film Festival

MAMI festival guide for first timers

Everyone talks about the MAMI Mumbai Film Festival (MFF) but no one talks about how to do it right. There’s a lot of information out there, most of which is pushed out by MAMI itself but it’s all scattered around on social media and other boring places that no one visits anymore like Facebook.

So, as a festival regular since 2015, allow me to provide you with everything that you need to know about inarguably the biggest cinema extravaganza of India. I will cover almost everything:

  • Why you need to visit
  • Registration through BookMyShow (i.e. getting the festival season pass)
  • Booking seats through BookMyShow (most critical)
    • The art of queuing up if you fail to pre-book
    • The art of queuing up to get the best seats in the hall
  • Selecting what films to watch
  • Strategy and planning
    • Finances, travel (how to shuttle between venues), and accommodation (where to stay)
  • Film festival etiquette (i.e. what is expected of you)
  • How to stay hydrated and nourished between the screenings (critical)

This is a no-nonsense and comprehensive guide. It is going to be long but I also promise you it will be worth it and will make your MAMI experience a lot better because things do tend to get chaotic. Both first-timers and fellow haunters, take note.

Let me start with an important question.

Why Should You Attend the MAMI Mumbai Film Festival?

I was a having a conversation with a friend recently who looked a little perplexed when I told her that you cannot even murmur during a screening in a film festival setting for the fear of admonishment from fellow viewers. It stunned her that talking to a person, or worse, on the phone, while a film is playing is frowned upon. It simply did because she is accustomed to the mainstream movie-watching experience, that barbaric way of watching a movie, while also eating food, browsing Twitter, and commentating the proceedings of the film playing on the screen. It’s not her fault and the MAMI film festival is just not for them. Or maybe it is, as a new way to engage with cinema.

Mard Ko Dard Nahi Hota crew
(L-R) Gulshan Devaiah, Abhimanyu Dassani, Vasan Bala, and Ronnie Screwvala during the introduction of their film Mard Ko Dard Nahi Hota at the 2018 edition.

The festival is for anyone who has ever been enchanted by a piece of cinema. Whether it is a short film they saw on YouTube or an obscure film they watched when on a holiday in Germany or a Bollywood masala film. The MAMI MFF has everything for everybody.

It is not just a festival that screens films from around the world. It’s about the community that comes together and celebrates for a whole week while disregarding everything else, even family. Folks like me apply for leaves at work and spend entire days at the festival. And they keep coming back every year because once you experience it self-control becomes an imaginary ability.

Finding an obscure film that was never on your watchlist and enjoying it, bumping into that small-time actor you saw in an indie film and loved but can’t recognize but you still go ahead and say hi, standing in a long queue and kicking up a conversation with a fellow cinephile, experiencing the cinema the way it should be (without censorship and disclaimers), watching the cast and crew speak about their film with more passion than they usually speak in interviews, finding your new favourite director or writer or music producer, watching actors and directors talk about their art and sharing tips, getting busy with film screenings with no time to even post about it on film Twitter, devouring a burger in less than two minutes because you are already late for the screening, and going back home at the end of the day thinking and dreaming about the visual magic you just saw earlier in the day – the MAMI Mumbai Film Festival is everything that you have never experienced about cinema.

A Brief Introduction to MAMI

So you have finally managed to take some time off and decided to experience it. Or is it your cinephile friend who has been raving about it for the whole year and has now cajoled you to participate? Or are you a (film) student who’s just found out about it and can’t wait to see what a festival feels like? The MAMI Mumbai Film Festival (MFF) is no doubt worth every resource you spend on it. Whether it’s some time off work to enjoy the festival in all its glory by attending all seven days and catching all the buzz-worthy films. Or the finances that you need for the registration, transportation, and in some cases, accommodation. Or the emotional energy that you will need to expend if you are to become a faithful festival participant who’s out there to enjoy cinema the way it should be. It’s an experience that will enrapture you and make you come back every year. MAMI promises you that and I can confirm it.

Whatever may be your motivation to attend the MAMI fest and whatever you may have heard from past delegates, I confirm that every part of it is true. Experiencing the festival is a feeling that gives you instant pleasure and the film screening may not even have begun.

Here are a few things about the MAMI MFF if you are a first-timer:

It’s a national-level film festival that aims to celebrate cinema. It is the biggest film event in India and features tens and tens of films – from arthouse dramas to international buzz-worthy titles to Indian genre-benders. If films are the highlight, the sessions and celebrity interviews add the glamour and technicality to it. The madness that you observe at the venues feeds your desire to belong. You will find everyone from filmmakers to film students to journalists to technicians who have all gathered to do just one thing: enjoy cinema.

india gold 2019 mami mff
India Gold is one of the top categories of MFF / credit MAMI

The films at the fest are classified based on their origin and type. Some of these are competitive, meaning awards will be given out for the best film as adjudged by the jury. Here are all the categories of films at MAMI MFF (these are colour-coded in the schedule):

  • Opening Film
  • India Gold – contemporary Indian fiction and documentary features
  • International Competition – films by debut international filmmakers
  • Dimensions Mumbai – films by emerging Indian filmmakers
  • Discovering India – films with Indian cast or about India
  • Half Ticket – children’s cinema
  • After Dark – films in the horror and thriller genres and subgenres
  • World Cinema – films from around the world
  • Special Presentations – gives a tribute to a country or a type of films
  • India Story – films with India as the backdrop
  • Spotlight – mainstream Indian cinema (premieres)
  • Marathi Talkies – Marathi-language films
  • Restored Classics – classic films from India and around the world
  • Movie Mela – talks by celebrities from India and the world

A few more defining features of the festival:

  • Films are not censored and do not have idiotic disclaimers that are otherwise mandatory for theatrical release
  • All non-English films have subtitles
  • National anthem is often not played
  • Everyone is equal when they are attending a screening
  • You can participate in Q&A sessions and ask anything to the cast and crew of a film (look for this info in the schedule)
    • But avoid criticizing the film if you participate in the Q&A
  • Most delegates are people who are extremely serious about the fest, so you can expect to find people that are very much like you.

Now that you are hopefully hyped up, here’s everything you need to do the MAMI MFF the right way. The definitive guide with strategies, tips, and tricks from yours truly who has been a fervent follower of the event as well as the film festivals sphere of India since 2015.

Let’s start with the registration.

How to Register for MAMI MFF

Once you have made the decision to attend the fest, the next step is to register on BookMyShow (BMS). There’s no last date for registration so there’s no need to hurry, especially those who want to see the lineup and the schedule before they make up their mind. All these details are out just a week before the festival.

Therefore, the right time to register is a week or two before the festival start date. But make sure you plan the seven days out at least a month ago if you are a working professional or student or coming from outside the city. Applying for leaves and managing accommodation beforehand can always be helpful and cost-effective.

(For the 2019 edition, the entire lineup of 190 feature films (out of 220 total titles) and the catalogue were out by October first week, followed by the schedule on 10 October. The festival officially begins with the Movie Mela on 13 October, followed by a gala on 17 October. Movie screenings start from 18 October.)

MAMI uses BMS for its registration and ticketing needs. This means all your fest registration, seat bookings, venue selection, and technical issues (if any) will be handled by those folks. They also have ground support staff who, together with PVR and MAMI officials (PR team too), manage the entire festival.

There are two ways to register: through BookMyShow (recommended) and on-ground registration (opens only a week before the festival start). The latter is for last-minute-planners, someone like my father. (He won’t read this.)

Registering through BookMyShow

Instructions have been simplified, keeping in mind the confusion that usually originates during the registration. Please excuse the verbosity. (Check the abridged FAQs section below before registering.)

  • Go to
  • Log in if you already have a BMS account (optional)
  • Click on the button ‘Register’
  • A dialog of four categories will appear on the same window. Select one
    • ‘Delegate’ is the most common and recommended type and provides access to all screenings and sessions. The ‘Student’ pass is free but has venue and screening limitations so I won’t recommend it (since the 2019 fee is just INR 500 ($7)[1]The registration fee for MAMI MFF has been INR 500 ($7) since the 2017 edition in an attempt to bring in the masses. Before that, it was INR 1,500 ($21) per pass.). ‘Press Accreditation’ is free and only for journalist and writers with press ID numbers and takes at least three weeks for verification. Obviously, don’t go for it if you are not a journalist or a media person. ‘Half Ticket’ is for kids in the age group of 5-17 who will only be eligible to watch Half Ticket movie screenings; their registration is dependent on an adult person’s registration (e.g.: you and your child))
  • Press the button ‘Delegate Pass’ (other categories have similar steps; just follow the dialog prompts)
  • After selecting the category, another dialog will load. Enter your personal details, upload a photograph with a clear face, and select a preferred location for badge pick-up. Recheck details and then click on the button ‘Proceed’
    • Choose the venue wisely and near to where you live or work so that you can pick it up easily. Check the venue map below
  • Click on ‘Proceed to Pay’ on the next window
  • Choose your preferred mode of payment and greenlight the transaction
  • Upon successful confirmation you will receive an email as well as a text message mentioning your MAMI festival ID (16-digit alphanumeric which starts with MASEGN). Save it on your phone’s notepad and keep it handy.

Note – Here’s a 2018 guide by BMS that lists the same process. It’s a bit more detailed.

Once you have registered, the only thing you need is the email or SMS that mentions the festival ID and a government-issued identity card (driving licence, aadhaar card, passbook).

(For the 2019 edition, the Movie Mela bookings have already begun. Visit the MAMI page on BMS and book a seat right away. Instead of ‘Register’ click on ‘Login’ (on the above link) and input your festival ID to access the booking interface. Choose the session you want to book and click on the time (e.g.: 12:00 PM). A new pop-up will ask you to confirm booking; click on it and your seat will be confirmed. See below.)

mami bms booking
A screenshot of the booking interface / credit BMS

Essential FAQs (Or Things to Know)

No need to read the entire sections of FAQs and T&Cs over at BMS. These are the things you need to know during registration and seat booking:

  • You can book only four screenings per day online. For Movie Mela, the limit is two
    • More seats can be booked through on-ground booking (this is how some people average five to six movies a day). For example, if you have booked all four films and think you can squeeze one more, you can register for it at the box office counter of the theatre
  • Your badge ID is like a key during the fest; it will be scanned at the entrance of each screening to verify your seat. In case you lose it, you will lose all your bookings and will have to reregister
  • The free student pass has limitations in the form of venues and screenings. If you are a student and want to enjoy the fest in its entirety, go with a paid Student pass.

How Do I Get a Gold Pass

Some people get gold passes for the MAMI fest. It is exclusively for the cast and crew of films that will be screened, MAMI officials and their friends, organizers, foreign delegates, and the who’s who of the Indian film industry. It allows direct entry to the auditoriums without having to stand in queues. Plus, the last four to six rows are reserved for them for all film screenings. It is also rumored that gold pass delegates do not have to book seats. They can just enter.

There is no way to get a gold pass.[2]In 2019, there was a way. At the Movie Mela, festival director Anupama Chopra announced that MAMI will be giving out one gold pass for a lucky delegate who shows extraordinary creativity and love for the festival by tweeting during that event. I’m not sure what the judging criteria was or if that promise was honoured. And if you somehow did, you don’t much need this guide.

Collecting the Delegate Badge and Festival Kit

Keep following MAMI on Facebook or Twitter and wait for the announcement for badge pickup. It usually happens a week before the start date. Also a good idea to keep tabs on the hashtag #JioMAMIwithStar2019.

Go to your selected venue and show the festival ID and an identity card at the MAMI counter (usually near or inside the theatre’s ticket counter). Unfortunately, you have to go there by yourself to pick them up; no substitutes. You should receive the following:

  • Delegate badge (festival ID card)
  • Festival catalogue
  • Festival bag (tote bag)
  • Schedule pamphlet
MAMI fest bag
The 2018 MAMI bag
MAMI Mumbai film festival 2017
My bag and other stuff from the 2017 edition

It is possible that the bag may go out of stock in your selected venue; don’t worry, you can pick it up from any other venue but make sure you go on the first few days of the announcement. If you don’t get it, keep the BMS coupon (a plastic token) handy which you will need to furnish later for the bag.

(For the 2019 edition, the badge announcement was made on 10 October. Bag and catalogue will be available by 14 October.)

How to Book MAMI Movie Tickets

This is perhaps the most critical aspect. Any misstep or lapse from you side will cost you from taking in the complete MAMI experience.

Ticket booking for the film screenings start a day prior to the day of the screenings. This means you have to book tickets on the 17th for the shows playing on the 18th. It starts at 8 AM sharp on BookMyShow so you need to be ready at least five minutes before with the list of four films that you want to book seats for. All sessions, interviews, and talks are considered ‘films’.

Booking a seat for a screening at MAMI is like booking a tatkal ticket on IRCTC.[3]Thanks to Sujay Kulkarni for the analogy. You can never be too sure that you will get a confirmed seat as tickets for the popular films sell out in less than a minute. The same is the case for opening film. So many people logging in and browsing the site at the same time also lead it to load slowly, or worse, crash. And by the time you refresh and the site recovers from it, the show is sold out. Panic!

The Right Way

Although the seat booking is problematic and akin to a non-destructive warzone, it is not totally impossible to get what you want as I found out in 2018 when I managed to book a seat for the opening film. It was a dream come true. I was keeping a tab on that hashtag throughout to see what the situation was as a lot of people resort to tweeting their upsets.

And if you are like me, you don’t want to skip the opening film, the first screening of which usually comes with an introduction by the cast and crew as well as a questions-and-answers session that just makes up for all the trouble you go to to get a ticket.

There are two things if you want to increase your chances of getting a seat:

  1. A high-speed internet connection
  2. A solid, well-thought-out watchlist

It doesn’t matter whether you use a desktop or the BMS mobile app to access and login to the MAMI portal. But in my experience if you access it through a browser on a desktop you can easily search the films you want to book. But then BMS will take a bit longer to load on the website. Use what works best for you.

Log in to the portal at least by 7.55 AM and keep browsing. The key is to be active enough so that you can be ready at the strike of eight to look for the films and hit ‘confirm’. Pre-selecting the categories will help as the portal will then load only those categories that your films fall in.

bookmyshow mami booking
These are the categories on BMS desktop / credit BMS

When the time comes, quickly select the date, search for the films, and start booking. All of this should happen within a span of 30 seconds so you need to be ready with alternatives too. For example, if you can’t book the first screening of the opening film, try booking the next one. Having a good idea about the venues, alternative screenings, and worst-case options will definitely help.

You can book all the four screenings at one go. Even if the website/app crashes, log in again and search for the shows until they show up as ‘sold out’. If the shows that you want are sold out, look for alternative films. But I would not suggest booking alternatives just for the heck of it because that will limit the opportunity for other people who might be honestly interested in those films.

Alternative Ways to Book Tickets

In essence, there are a total of three ways to book screenings at MAMI:

  1. Through BookMyShow at 8 AM the previous day of the screening
  2. Through on-ground support the previous day of the screening (as early in the day as possible)
  3. Through the walk-in line (hours before the show)

Say you want to book a ticket for a 5 PM show on 20 October at Audi 2 of PVR ECX. The first and most recommended way to do that is to log on to BMS on 19 October at 8 AM and book a seat online (see above section for steps). Assuming the show gets sold out, your next bet is to physically go to the venue (i.e. PVR ECX) on the same day (19 October) as soon as possible and book a ticket for that show through the offline counter (theatre’s box office). You can also book for other shows at the same venue through this method at one go but only for the next day (20 October). This is mostly difficult if you stay far away from the venue.

Your next and final chance is to get in the walk-in/rush line on the day of the screening. Since some people who have prebooked tend to skip the screenings (or they are just running late), there are extra seats available. For the 5 PM show, depending on the film’s popularity, go and stand in the walk-in queue outside Audi 2 as soon as you can. It can be from 4 PM or 2 PM or even 12 PM. Do not be surprised if when you go at 2 PM and you see the queue is already strong with 50-odd people just like you who were without luck the previous morning. This usually means you have to skip the film before that show i.e. for the 5 PM show if you have to stand in line from 2 PM, you won’t be able to catch any show in that time slot. (Think if that show will be really worth it.)

Unfortunately, you will have to repeat this for each show that you want. If the shows are at the same venue, you can book for all of them at one go. But if even the on-ground tickets are sold out, you will have to queue up for all three separately, which could mean standing outside different auditoriums. It’s not recommended. What is recommended instead is to take chance and go for some other lesser-known film. I remember not getting a seat for a film called Jonaki in 2018 even though I stood in the walk-in line for 30+ minutes. So, I went for an animation film called Ruben Brandt, Collector in the same venue and was fairly delighted. I was lucky because Jonaki was a snoozefest as my friend described it later.

Remember that a certain percentage of seats are always reserved for on-ground registration and walk-in line. For example, if an auditorium has 100 seats, 50 are open for online booking, 30 for on-ground and walk-in, and 20 for gold class delegates and/or cast/crew (numbers and percentages are assumptive but close).

If you fail to book tickets through BMS for day one, persevere and try harder for day two. The rush typically dies down as the days pass.

Important Note for Couples or Groups of Friends

There is no way to ensure that two or more of you will be able to book the same screening. In most cases, one will be able to and by the time others log in, that show will be sold out.

Hence, I would strongly recommend to attend the festival as a solo delegate. In other words, if you are a group or a couple, have differing watchlist strategies. After all, everyone has different taste in cinema.

Having a partner or friend is definitely exciting as you can share opinions and eat and drink together but MAMI is brutal in that way. Plus, the idea of meeting strangers who share the same vocation as you will be fun. It is.

This does not mean you cannot give it a try. Luck plays an important role is all I will say.

In the unfortunate event where you are not able to book for your desired movie, I would request you to go with an alternative title (online) or try your luck (on-ground). The point about serendipity by Sujay Kulkarni writing for is true; “chancing upon a random film that you didn’t even consider while strategising your watchlist and being blown away by it is such a satisfying feeling that in the moment you might even start believing in fate.”

But, hey, let’s not go into the festival with a pessimistic attitude. That’s what strategy is for. Here are some tips.

How to Plan the MAMI MFF – Watchlist Strategy

There are two ways to enjoy the MAMI MFF: one where you have a good idea about what films you need to watch and the other where you go in and try your luck. It is obvious in the second way that you won’t need prior seat reservation. So, let’s call it ‘the leisure way’. The former requires thorough planning and that’s what this section is about.

The easiest thing to do is to create a short list of must-watch movies. Either scribble the names on your phone’s notepad or a piece of paper or head over to Letterboxd or IMDb that will also help you track and log. IMDb list helps because you also get the Metacritic rating which is, objectively, the only way to judge a movie’s critical claim these days. Maybe even Rotten Tomatoes.

Pro Tip – An average festivalgoer can catch about 21 to 28 films (three to four per day for seven days). Creating a list of a dozen or so must-watch films and secondary options, a total of which counts to about 30 to 35, will be ideal. Having options for when you cannot catch a movie you wanted to always helps. And I can assure you catching all the films in your list is not going to be easy. You will know.

The list should also depend on your schedule. Are you going to attend the entire festival? Or only a select few days. Does your doctor needs you to have food at a specific time? Keep that in mind while planning. Average about three to four films per day and then choose accordingly. As noted above, you can book maximum four screenings online and more can be booked through on-ground registration only.

How to Choose Films

You can either depend on ‘must-watch films’ lists that circulate in online media days before the festival or do your own research. Here’s how I do it.

I first go through the entire list of films (for the 2019 edition, check it out on the catalogue here). If there are films that I have heard before (a critic raving about it or an Oscar hopeful) I immediately add it to a list that I maintain on IMDb (the 2019 one is here). Then I look for Indian films specifically because some of these titles usually don’t have theatrical releases. Such festivals then are the only way to watch them.

I usually skip popular Indian and international titles because they are anyway going to be released theatrically or online. I look for obscure and rare ones instead. In some cases, if a film looks like it should be watched on the big screen, I add that too. Restored classics, Indian regional-language films, and world cinema titles get more love from me.

I also check out what titles are available on VOD or for streaming online and then skip them (something I did in 2018). The idea is to watch as many rare films that won’t be easily available in future.

Once you have the rough list ready the next step is to take a look at the schedule and plan when and where you will be watching the movies. All movies are screened at PVR theatres and other single-screen theatres across Mumbai and most venues have multiple auditoriums. Therefore, it makes sense to choose one or two venues that are closer to each other than shuttle between all of them.

Notes About Screening Venues

In 2019, the MAMI Mumbai Film Festival has eight screening venues. Instead of a list I created this handy Google Maps snippet. You can save it on your Maps if you’d like.

There are five PVR theatres and three single-screen venues namely Le Reve, Matterden (Deepak Talkies, Carnival Cinemas), and Regal. Following are more details about number of auditoriums and seating capacity.

  • PVR ICON – four auditoriums – Audi 1 (236), Audi 2 (220), Audis 3 and 4 (312)
  • PVR ECX – five auditoriums – all with 216 seats each
  • PVR Juhu – two auditoriums – Audi 1 (276), Audi 2 (300)
  • PVR Kurla – one auditorium – Audi 8 (207)
  • PVR ICON LP – one auditorium – Audi 5 (252)
  • Le Reve Bandra – one hall with 259 seats
  • Matterden – one hall with 373 seats (stall + balcony)
  • Regal – one hall with 1,166 seats (stall + balcony)

As you can see it is sensible to plan your movies at the three theatres in Andheri and Juhu. This is also the prime spot for festival regulars and celebrities, the opening film with introduction, and other sassy sessions and events. So, naturally that makes PVR ICON, PVR ECX, and PVR Juhu the most sought-after venues. This has been the case since MAMI tied up with PVR earlier this decade. (A little bit about MAMI’s history here.)

But there’s a catch in selecting those three venues. Everyone thinks alike and when that happens your chances of getting a seat at these venues drop drastically, also because the seating capacity is not that impressive. This is one of the things you will find out when you sit down to book tickets at eight in the morning: shows at these three venues get sold out faster.

And that’s why I suggest choosing other less popular venues like Regal Cinemas in Colaba, SPI Cinemas (Le Reve) in Bandra, or PVR Kurla. I would recommend choosing Regal because it has the highest seating capacity (about 1,166) compared to the few hundreds in PVR halls (207 to 312). (In 2019, Martin Scorcese’s The Irishaman will screen twice at Regal. MAMI chose that venue for the same reason above.) In 2018, I was able to book the closing film (Steve McQueen’s Widows) because I chose Regal as the venue.

Matterden has limited screenings and usually hosts Half Ticket films and other non-popular events. The one at Kurla and Lower Parel are also not big enough as they only have one screen each for the festival.

But if you like the glamour and craze that comes as part of the festival and want to experience it first-hand, aim higher and go for one of those coveted venues. PVR ICON and PVR ECX in Andheri are a stone’s throw apart so you can alternate between them on foot. The celebrities and film folks usually hang out at these two SoBo venues.

How to Create the Viewing List – Steps

  • Refine the list; for every must-watch film, have an alternative
  • Compare daily schedule (download the digital copy from the MAMI website) with your films and create a rough plan
    • Scan the schedule for a day and then earmark the screenings that you want to catch
    • Noting them down on another piece of paper will help so that you can detect if there are any overlaps
  • Create time slots and assign one film per slot
    • 10 AM to 12 PM, 12 PM to 2 PM, 2 PM to 5 PM, 5 PM to 8 PM, and 8 PM to midnight
    • Although these are five slots, in most cases, you will only be able to assign four films across them
  • Take note of the travel time if you choose different venues. Google Maps will help but make sure you adjust an extra 15 to 30 minutes every time you are moving between towns (Andheri to Lower Parel, for instance). (Use the timings (arrive by/depart at) feature for a rough idea)
  • Once you have a film per slot for that day, look for alternatives. For example, if you cannot catch the opening film at 7.30 PM, which one can you go for so that you can be present at the same venue for the 9 PM show? Think like this and you will automatically prepare a solid plan. If required, look for a third alternative as well because things can get real messy if the first two options are both well-known films
  • Repeat for all the days that you will attend
  • Go over each day and make changes because sometimes you can avoid overlaps if you shift screenings. For example, a film that screens at 8 PM on day one might be screening at 10 AM some other day. MAMI has multiple screenings for most films so see which ones work best for you
    • Keep an eye on social media as MAMI also tends to change the schedule abruptly. In 2017, Sanal Kumar Sasidharan’s S Durga was added later whereas in 2018, an extra screening of Hirokazu Kore-eda’s Shoplifters was added due to popular demand
  • Keep updating as you complete screenings. If you couldn’t catch a film on day one, try to squeeze it or replace it with another in the following days.

Keep this watchlist with you at all times so that you can edit it while on the go. Take a final look every night so that you can be sure what movies you want to book the next morning.

Note – The opening film is supposed to be invite-only but it usually is available for general delegates as well. Also, as the title would suggest it is not the first film to be screened at the fest; instead it serves as a formal, inaugural event where the organizers talk a little about the MFF, introduce it and speak on why it was chosen as the opening film, and the cast and crew engage with the audience. Essentially, it sets the mood for the whole fest.

Here’s my rough plan for the 2018 edition. Daywise and timewise scheduling based on my watchlist and festival screening timings.

Mumbai film festival personal plan
A bird’s eye view of my 2018 plan. Comments on the handwriting are not expected. (Click to open on another tab)

Choosing one venue (if you do, consider PVR ECX with five auditoriums) and sticking to the films being screened there will make your life these seven days easier. Traveling in Mumbai is easy if you have prior experience but it still can get tedious and overwhelming when you are handling four to five films with very little time in between. Who has time for public transport then?

Tips on Travelling

But you are still going to need to plan your travel, at least to get to the first venue from your place of stay (house or hotel).

Most screenings start at or after 10 AM so there’s enough time to plan the morning commute. If you live near to any of the venues I would suggest choosing that one as your main hangout area. But if you want to be adventurous, be my guest and consider these tips:

  • Uber and Ola and other cab aggregators will mostly have surge pricing in and around the venues due to the high demand. Therefore, go with auto rickshaws or black-and-yellow taxicabs. Make sure you ask for the ride fare before getting in to avoid getting fleeced (or ensure the electronic meters are up and running)
  • PVR ICON and PVR ECX in Andheri are the venues that are nearest to each other. Walking distance is about 300 metres between them
  • For long-distance travel, always prefer either the local suburban train and Metro or BEST buses
    • Both local trains and BEST buses will be crowded during peak timings (8 AM to 11 AM and evening 5 PM to 8 PM). So plan your travels accordingly, especially if you do not have any experience. The crowds can get uncontrollable
    • Metros are crowded too but the air condition helps and the frequency is higher
  • None of the venues are close to the railway stations so your best bet is to get down at the nearest railway station and take a cab/rickshaw
  • If you are shuttling between Andheri and Juhu, prefer cabs
  • Having your own vehicle will help but Mumbai traffic will still play spoilsport with your plans if you are going to drive by yourself. This is why trains and Metro are recommended
  • Before going in for the final screening for the day, check the last train/Metro timings to ensure you will have public transit help to get back where you stay
    • In worst cases, take an Uber/Ola and avoid pool rides. If you are a woman, sit right behind the driver so that they cannot ogle at you from the front mirror.

If you are new to the city, consider downloading the following mobile apps:

  • m-indicator (Android, iOS) – for local train, Metro, and BEST bus timings; fare calculations; BEST bus routes; and live chat (free)
  • Ridlr (Android, iOS) – for BEST bus and Metro tickets (free)
  • UTS (Android, iOS) – for local train tickets (free official Indian Railways app)

More info and discussion about these apps at r/Mumbai on Reddit. Thanks to u/anjan18.

Suffice to say that shuttling between the venues is not recommended. Go with one or two nearby venues and have a peaceful festival experience. The commute time can instead be used to grab a bite at a nearby bistro.

Tips On Accommodation

If you are from outside the city, consider these options:

  • Find a place in Andheri, Versova, or Juhu so that your travel is sorted
    • The Urbanpod is a cool lodging option
    • MAMI has a tie-up with Oyo Rooms so make sure you look for that information in the festival catalogue. Or call up Oyo and just ask for a discount
  • If Andheri is not where your venue is, go with a hotel that is near to your preferred venue/s
  • Book at least a week before to avoid rush and inflated prices
  • Do not prebook meals because you won’t be having them there if you plan to make most of the festival. (In fact, you won’t be having much food at all during the fest. More on why later.)

If you live just outside Mumbai (like Navi Mumbai or Kalyan or Virar), you may also consider getting the above-mentioned accommodation for the duration of the fest.

I live in Navi Mumbai and I usually use local trains and my feet to get to the venues. When you sometimes forget to remove the badge and people stare at you as you cross a sidewalk, it gives you a bit of joy. But don’t spend too time much in that joy because you need to get to the venue before the queue line breaks the wall.

For Outstation Folks

If you are coming from another city in India or another country, here are a few tips on air, rail, and bus travel:

  • Nearest and the only airport is Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport (CSIA) i.e. the Mumbai airport (BOM) which is in Andheri itself
    • If you land here, consider lodging at a hotel that’s both closer to the airport and your chosen venue/s
  • If you are coming by passenger long-distance train, get down at any of these termini. Once you alight, take a rickshaw or a cab to your hotel. You can also choose to take the local train if you need to travel longer (say, from Bandra to Andheri or Churchgate)
    • Bandra (BA/BDTS) – Western line
    • Dadar (D/DR/DDR) – Western/Central line
    • Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj (CSMT) – Central/Harbour line
    • Lokmanya Tilak (LTT) – Harbour line
View post on
Mumbai suburban railway network / credit someone on the internet (Qopo)
  • If you are coming by bus, get down at Vile Parle in Andheri (Hanuman bus stop). Then take a rickshaw or a cab to your hotel.

Nearest Railway or Metro Station Station from the Venues

  • PVR ICON and PVR ECX – D N Nagar metro station, Jogeshwari railway station (Western line)
  • PVR Juhu – D N Nagar metro station, Andheri railway station (Western line)
  • PVR Kurla – Vidyavihar railway station (Central line), Ghatkopar and Jagruti Nagar metro stations
  • PVR ICON, LP – Lower Parel (Western line) and Currey Road (Central line) railway stations
  • Le Reve – Bandra railway station (Western line)
  • Matterden – Prabhadevi (Western line) and Parel (Central line) railway stations. Prabhadevi is also known as Elphinstone Road
  • Regal – Churchgate (Western line) and CSMT (Central/Harbour lines) railway stations

Note – If you face any issues while travelling, let me know in the comment section below and I will suggest you the best way out.

Tips on Finances

Keep your purse/wallet stuffed with some cash and one or two cards. Although digital payments are in vogue, you never know when you might need some cash so that you can pay the pav bhaji wala you found on the corner of a street. If you have two cards, keep one on your person and the other one in your wallet/purse or tote bag.

Apart from the registration fee, you will need money for the traveling and accommodation. Depending upon the mode of travel, it can be anywhere between INR 100 ($1.5) and INR 3,000 ($43). Expect to shell out at least INR 3,000 ($43) per day for accommodation in decent hotels.

MAMI Etiquette

As a delegate, you are expected to exhibit basic film festival formalities. If this is your first time at one, here’s some useful tips specially tailored for the MAMI Mumbai Film Festival. Or go directly to this article and avoid doing everything that it lists.

  • Arrive 20 to 30 minutes before time and queue up outside the auditorium
    • If you need the best seats in the hall, measure the popularity of the film and then go and stand outside the auditorium a few hours earlier. Higher the popularity, earlier the queue begins to form
  • Do not talk to those sitting beside you or on the phone while a film is playing. You may be admonished severely or asked to leave. The ground staff may intervene and it can get embarrassing
  • Do not argue with the ground support staff; they are just doing their job. The reality is that as long as there are VIPs there will be seats reserved for them
    • Instead be polite with the staff
  • Do not make noises while drinking/eating if you choose to do it during a screening
  • If you think you might have to walk out of a film due to some reason, take an aisle seat. This ensures you don’t disturb those sitting around you
  • Avoid using your mobile phone during a screening.

What to Do While at the Venue

You are supposed to reach the venue (the auditorium) at least 15 minutes before the start of the screening. I would recommend making that 30 minutes. There are enough reasons why.

There will be two queues outside the auditoritum – one is for those who have prebooked a screening and the other one is the rush/walk-in line for those who could not or did not prebook. Make sure the queue you have joined is the right one.

The first queue enters the hall at least 10 minutes before the start of the show. Once everyone has entered that line CLOSES and those standing in the walk-in line get the opportunity.

What happens if you arrive AFTER the main line has closed? You forfeit your booking and you have to join the walk-in line. If it’s a popular film, there is no point because you won’t be getting a seat. I would suggest you to not get into a tiff with the ground staff because they can’t do anything. All seats at MAMI screenings are on first-come-first-serve basis. That is why you will see people queuing up from 4 PM for a show that’s supposed to start at 7.30 PM. True story!

What happens if you arrive just 15 minutes before? You will get to join the main queue but it will already be a long one and you will have to sit in the front-row seats. The higher the popularity of the film and the more late you are for it you will get a seat that is closer to the screen.

Note – Unlike EUFF India, MAMI is not that punctual when it comes to screenings. So, expect delays and consider that while planning your days.

A few more things that you can do while at the venue or in the auditorium:

  • Make use of the cafeteria
    • Be aware that cafeteria food can be expensive (e.g.: INR 400 ($6) for a bucket of popcorn and INR 120 ($2) for a mug of soft drink)
  • Go through the catalogue or update your watchlist while standing in a queue
  • Kick up conversation with random persons
  • Look for actors and wonder which film you saw them in; and maybe go and say hi. Don’t stare or unabashedly ask for a selfie if the opportunity is not right
  • Give some rest to your behind by taking a stroll inside or outside the gate. Or give some rest to your feet by sitting down
  • Update your family about your whereabouts.

Once a screening is completed, you can either wait for the end credits to roll up (it’s courtesy) or rush for the next screening. One problem that you will see here is that you can only get out through the main exit. This means even if your next screening is in the same venue or in the same auditorium you will still have to go through the main exit, walk down the stairs, enter again through the entrance (the mall entrance in case of PVR), get frisked, and stand in a fresh queue outside the auditorium where your next screening will be played.

After the third screening you really begin to wonder and ask yourself: why the hell do I not exercise daily? I concur.

Tips for Film Critics

If you are a film critic or intend to write reviews of the films you will be watching, I recommend lowering your phone’s brightness to the minimum and then jotting down points in a notepad app if you hope to do it during the screening. The better alternative is to take a pen and notepad but I understand if that’s not convenient.

After the screening, you can sit down and expand on the notes. If you have to publish it ASAP do it while standing on the queue for the next screening.

Come what may, do not fire up your laptop or increase your phone’s brightness in the middle of a screening. That’s just bad manners.

Taking Care of Yourself

Attending the MAMI Mumbai Film Festival will be an exhausting experience. There is not going to be any time for food, water, or even much sleep. As you can guess, survival is key if you want to successfully complete the MAMI experience.

The back-to-back films and all the walking and climbing the stairs between the screenings and the standing in the queues and the ‘Bombay travel’ can make you weak. You will dehydrate faster and the lack of food will make you drowsy. First-timers should be extremely aware of this scenario and follow these tips to stay hydrated and nourished throughout the day:

  • Carry a water bottle in your bag (the festival tote bag that you get is also for this purpose) and fill it up regularly. Make sure you take a swig frequently. Avoid plastic mineral water bottles as they will most likely be confiscated by the theatre security[4]There are free water coolers/dispensers in all PVR venues (and assumedly in other theatres as well) so no need to spend money on water.
  • If you plan to attend more than four screenings, carry at least half a dozen energy bars. Snickers do a good job of keeping you healthy. Other alternatives: Apples, oranges, Safari, or any granola snack bar will also do[5]Although outside food is not allowed inside the auditoriums in any of the theatres, I’m sure you have a few tricks up your sleeve on how to do that slyly and bypass the frisking. I’m not saying it is the right thing to do, though, but we all get hungry and theatre food costs a fortune.
    • Stock up on any of these for the whole week beforehand
    • Having your meals at a stipulated time will be difficult. If you are particular about it or suffer from any ailment like diabetes, take that into consideration while planning your strategy (see above)
  • Make sure you have at least two proper meals. For the duration of the festival, let’s assume a cheese burger as a proper meal. All I’m saying is have something heavy in the afternoon and at around 9 PM if that’s possible
  • Carry a jacket although the Mumbai weather is humid enough that you’ll regret it while you are travelling. But listen to me: the auditoriums are all air-conditioned and you are going to need that jacket or a shawl or at least a scarf for your neck.

Things to Carry

I recommend travelling light, so here are the bare essentials:

  • The MAMI festival ID
  • A filled water bottle and your choice of energy food (see above)
  • A comfort layer of cloth i.e. a jacket, shawl, scarf, overshirt
  • Chargers for your phone and laptop
  • A charged-up power bank
  • Earphones
  • Your medication (if any) + the usual Indian basic first-aid like paracetamols, Vicks inhaler and rub, antacid tablets
  • Books or other reading material for you when you are standing in queues and want your rush of literature. Want to borrow any from my library?

If you are high on eating when compared with move-watching, here’s a list of offers provided by eateries around the venues for the 2019 edition. Borrowed from the catalogue.

mami mff 2019 eating offers
A list of offers/discounts provided by eateries around the venues for the 2019 edition / credit MAMI

Other than these, keep an eye on the daily schedule (grab it from the front counter outside the venue) to see more such offers provided by eateries in and around the venues.

Whatever you do, make sure you stay hydrated, eat something, and use the restroom when the time allows. It will ensure a smooth flying through the fest.

I hope this has helped a lot. If you read the whole guide I want to congratulate you. You will be having one hell of an experience at the MAMI film festival. An experience that will stay with you for a very long time. All the best! TN.

MAMI 2019 edition poster
Jio MAMI MFF with Star 2019 poster / credit MAMI

The 21st edition of the Jio MAMI MFF with Star begins 17 October 2019 and will conclude on 24 October 2019. Film screenings (190 films from 53 countries) will start from the 18th which is also when the opening film (Moothon) will be shown. For registration, click here. For more official details, check out the MAMI website.

Featured image courtesy: MAMI

Update: copyedited; added some additional data and one new section ‘Things to Carry’. (14 October 2019)

Did you find this guide useful? If yes, consider buying me books.


1 The registration fee for MAMI MFF has been INR 500 ($7) since the 2017 edition in an attempt to bring in the masses. Before that, it was INR 1,500 ($21) per pass.
2 In 2019, there was a way. At the Movie Mela, festival director Anupama Chopra announced that MAMI will be giving out one gold pass for a lucky delegate who shows extraordinary creativity and love for the festival by tweeting during that event. I’m not sure what the judging criteria was or if that promise was honoured.
3 Thanks to Sujay Kulkarni for the analogy.
4 There are free water coolers/dispensers in all PVR venues (and assumedly in other theatres as well) so no need to spend money on water.
5 Although outside food is not allowed inside the auditoriums in any of the theatres, I’m sure you have a few tricks up your sleeve on how to do that slyly and bypass the frisking. I’m not saying it is the right thing to do, though, but we all get hungry and theatre food costs a fortune.

The Right Way to Celebrate Ganeshotsav

This is a short article where I jot down some points that will show what (I think) the right way to celebrate Ganshotsav is. I have a special regard for the elephant god as you can read and find in one of my most popular articles on this website. So, you can rest assured that this is a practical article that does not resort to mockery.

A huge Ganesha idol being taken to a pandal in Navi Mumbai
An example of a procession taking a Ganesha idol to its pandal

Changing some of our ways as we celebrate the festival can go a long way in ensuring that we will be able to do it for more years, similar to how responding positively to the ongoing Save Aarey campaign will do. Here you go:

  • Avoid processions – This is perhaps the biggest issue emanating out of the festival. The concept of bringing in the Ganesha idol (aagman) and saying goodbye to it (visarjan) with fanfare should be minimized either by avoiding them altogether or doing it when the roads are emptier in the night. It should be mandated that all such processions should be carried out post 10 pm to aid in easy movement of both the traffic and the procession. Clogged roads lead to traffic snarls which in turn lead to chaos and even death in some cases due to stampede. It might be assuring to know that in 2015 the Bombay High Court had directed the BMC to restrict the burgeoning of pandals (a term used to describe interchangeably the setup that holds the lord’s idol or the association attached to it) and give permission to only those that have enjoyed a legacy or a long-term existence such as the Lallbaug Raja or the GSB Seva Mandal.[1]BMC approves over 2k Ganpati pandal requests – Richa Pinto, The Times of India, 27 August 2019
  • Avoid firecrackers – There is no reason to let the whole world know that you are celebrating the festival by firing crackers. Lord Ganesha can sense all the love you have for him through your sheer willingness to celebrate the festival. Stop using firecrackers and prevent pollution of the atmosphere
  • Avoid loudspeakers – Vocal chanting (aarti) is one of the key processes to show love and worship to the deity but doing it on loudspeakers just adds to the noise pollution accentuated by the firecrackers (above point) and the music bands (below point), also incorrectly known as banjo groups. Let the pandit chant without the mic and you can follow his lead. No need to make the surrounding people know that you are doing an aarti. The lord has big enough ears to get the point
  • Avoid music bands – I know this is a source of income for some youth but it needs to stop for the greater good. More than the loudspeakers, it is the noise from these percussion-heavy banjo groups that makes existing during Ganshotsav a near impossibility. Add to that the use of amplifiers to blast Bollywood and pop songs in other languages such as Bhojpuri, Punjabi, and Marathi. I’m sure the lord does not think highly of this, let alone the Nashik dhol (Nashik beat) in repeat. The youth can adopt what they do the rest of the year and say goodbye to this noise-polluting practice. Visarjans can also be a silent affair without the use of these percussion instruments. And if you see the need for it, you can chant it using your vocal chords
  • Avoid floral wastage – This is as huge as we think it is small. Floral wastage during the celebrations is so high (and which contributes to poor sewage in and around the city) that in 2019 BMC tied up with NGOs to collect them and convert to manure. That’s a good step but extra work, which can be altogether avoided if you start avoiding use of extra flowers when the need is only for a few
  • Avoid PoP idols – This has been debated for long but has reached no consensus. It is common sense to avoid Plaster of Paris (PoP) idols (because of their non-biodegradable quality) and instead use eco-friendly ones made of clay (which are) but due to lower costs, better strength, and better designs, manufacturers still dole out Ganesha idols made of PoP. The change needs to start with the consumers here
  • Avoid visarjan in water bodies – This is the last point because it is the only one where I have seen some headway happening. Many pandals and homes in and around Navi Mumbai have shifted to artificial visarjan where they immerse the Ganesha idol in a makeshift pond on a terrace or a housing society backyard. This practice does not pollute the water bodies. The plus point is that this practice also avoids the procession as everything happens within the confines of the housing society or the house (in case of private pandals). Examples of this practice are one, a private housing society of Everest Nagar in Ghansoli, and two, a private one organized by Sushobita Nair and her family in Sector 6, Vashi.

I know it is almost the end of Ganesh Chaturthi 2019 but let this be an essential read for the coming years. From a theological perspective, this may not exactly be the right way to celebrate the festival of Ganesha but in this 21st century where we are riddled with environmental issues it is pragmatic to tweak our ways.

If even one of these points is executed by anyone who is involved in celebrating Ganshotsav I think we can make progress. As someone who tries to practice what he preaches, I will try to do the same starting 2020. TN.

Featured image courtesy: Preshit/Creative Commons


1 BMC approves over 2k Ganpati pandal requests – Richa Pinto, The Times of India, 27 August 2019

Preparing To Vote for the First Time

I am old enough that people sneer at me when I say I will be voting for the first time in my life this year at the ongoing Lok Sabha elections. So much that they begin to criticize me for having not voted all these years.

If the Opposition parties had their way, they would even blame me and my ilk for letting the current government execute demonetization, implement the Goods and Services Tax (GST), and resurrect hardcore nationalism. But a lot of people blame a lot of things here in Indian politics, so it’s better if I, a novice, don’t dive deeper. Instead, let me share my strategy pointers as I do the spadework to vote for the elections scheduled 29 April 2019 here in my constituency.

first time voting in lok sabha 2019 india
I won’t lie, I’m excited to vote for the first time / © element5digital/unsplash

If you are a first-timer this might help. Don’t take my word for it, though. And apologies if the time for you to consider this is already up.

Things That You Could Do Before Voting

A few things to do as part of your preparation before you cast your vote:

  • Take a good look at the past three-four years of your life. Analyse what went wrong and what went right. How much of this right/wrong was directly or indirectly influenced by the local, state, and national governance? (Examples: difficulties finding employment, joy standing up for the national anthem before a movie at a theater, ease of starting a start-up, etc.) And then start your research on the candidates and their political parties
  • Go to your state CEO’s website and learn more about the voting process, why your vote matters, and of course, the candidates. Here’s a quick access to Maharashtra CEO’s website as well as online affidavits (PDF) of candidates representing your constituencies
  • Religiously go through the affidavits of those candidates that are likely to win or who have won in the past. Usually, this can be figured out by checking their respective parties and their performance. If it’s a big state/national name, pay more attention. (This is important because according to Mumbai Mirror columnist Ajit Ranade, about 20 per cent of the candidates have criminal cases against them.[1]There are roughly 4,400 candidates in the fray. On average, there are 14 choices for every Lok Sabha seat before the voters. Cumulatively, about 20% of the candidates have criminal cases against them. So, on average out of 14 candidates for every seat, about three or four have criminal cases. (20 April 2019) He further states that if you can’t find a clean candidate, the None of the Above (NOTA) option might come handy)
  • Go to all your favorite candidates’ party websites and read their campaign catalogs to see what they are promising. You don’t have to believe what they are promising; just see if they are sensitive enough with what is actually happening around and that they align with your personal vision about the country
  • Do an extensive Google search of your favorite candidates. (Example: Search for “Manoj Kotak” and see what results come up. Then customize the search and go back by three-four years. Lastly go back a little further and see what they have been quoted saying or what has made them newsworthy. Trust your instincts and aim for local news outlets to get a real vibe about the candidates. I am depending on Navi Mumbai TV (NMTV)
  • Don’t fool around asking for and testing other people’s political leanings
  • Avoid messages (videos and images too) related to party campaigns on WhatsApp and social media like the plague
  • Avoid television and/or loud news channels
  • Avoid newspaper columns by politicians
  • Compare the report cards (that you just generated by consuming information about them) of your favorite candidates objectively, without paying heed to what they have promised. Instead, look at what they have achieved so far.

Then, go and vote. I wouldn’t recommend aiming for the NOTA option because it is not yet powerful enough that the Election Commission of India (ECI) will quash the poll if it gets the highest number of votes.[2]Even if the number of electors opting for NOTA option is more than the number of votes polled by any of the candidates, the candidate who secures the largest number of votes has to be declared elected. (Section 6.6.6, Electoral Statistics Pocket Book 2017, ECI)[3]…even if, in any extreme case, the number of votes against NOTA is more than the number of votes secured by the candidates, the candidate who secures the largest number of votes among the contesting candidates shall be declared to be elected… (ECI’s Provision for the NOTA option on the EVM/Ballot paper – Instructions, 11 October 2013)[4]The ECI while introducing NOTA indicated that although votes cast as NOTA are counted, they are invalid votes so they will not impact the result of the election process. Therefore, whether NOTA gets more or less votes, it is not taken into account for calculating the total valid votes. (The Economic Times, 12 April 2019) It will only mean that the winning candidate will win by a lower margin and overall votes. For a winner, the number of votes is as important as their kid’s mock board exam marks.

So, go out there and do what you think will “help” the country in the truest sense of that word. Ignore the jingoism, ignore the oratory, ignore the ridiculous schemes, ignore the promises. Look at the work and its effect on you and the things you care. And then go and vote. TN.

Disclaimer: It is not my intention to support a party or a candidate publicly. If any of the statements above hints at anything, it’s only your imagination at work. Please don’t contact me.

Update: Added footnotes to support the pointers about NOTA and candidates’ criminal records. (24 April 2019)


1 There are roughly 4,400 candidates in the fray. On average, there are 14 choices for every Lok Sabha seat before the voters. Cumulatively, about 20% of the candidates have criminal cases against them. So, on average out of 14 candidates for every seat, about three or four have criminal cases. (20 April 2019)
2 Even if the number of electors opting for NOTA option is more than the number of votes polled by any of the candidates, the candidate who secures the largest number of votes has to be declared elected. (Section 6.6.6, Electoral Statistics Pocket Book 2017, ECI)
3 …even if, in any extreme case, the number of votes against NOTA is more than the number of votes secured by the candidates, the candidate who secures the largest number of votes among the contesting candidates shall be declared to be elected… (ECI’s Provision for the NOTA option on the EVM/Ballot paper – Instructions, 11 October 2013)
4 The ECI while introducing NOTA indicated that although votes cast as NOTA are counted, they are invalid votes so they will not impact the result of the election process. Therefore, whether NOTA gets more or less votes, it is not taken into account for calculating the total valid votes. (The Economic Times, 12 April 2019)

Mumbai Film Festival: A Waiting Guide

It’s been nearly six months since the last edition of the Mumbai Film Festival (MFF) concluded and I am finding it difficult to wait out any longer for the next one. Especially with Cannes releasing its official poster for 2019 featuring a tribute to late French filmmaker Agnès Varda as well as folks on my Twitter already starting to build up on TIFF 2019. It was difficult enough to see critics reshare opinion pieces of their favorite and not-so-favorite movies they caught at Sundance this year. And then our own MAMI came out with a tweet that sent a tribute to the late legendary Indian filmmaker Mrinal Sen on 10 April, and I just couldn’t control. Yours truly is filled with misery these days.

Mumbai film festival 2019
Poster for the 21st edition of the Jio MAMI Mumbai Film Festival with Star / © MAMI

But, thanks to cheap access to the Internet and theaters nearby, I have somehow managed to find a way to sustain the gap – which almost feels like an eternity – between the festival editions, October through October. The key, they say, is to stop thinking about it, but good luck doing that if you are an active social media user. And if you are someone who follows the film fraternity (for whatever reasons), you are bound to become miserable over the 12 months. More so if you are disturbed by the wave of low-quality movies that have come out of Bollywood in 2019 so far. Why Cheat India, Total Dhamaal, Mere Pyare Prime Minister, Junglee

If you think you are in a similar situation, don’t worry. I have found a few ways to keep myself occupied till the week-long festival comes back, scheduled between 17 October and 24 October this year. If you can manage to find a buddy then nothing like it. Schedule a day and a time, grab a few packets of instant popcorn, and fire up your home theater to end your hectic days with doses of filmy smack. Here’s how…

Waiting Out the Next Edition of the Mumbai Film Festival

Since the 2018 edition was my most successful in terms of catching the movies that I actually wanted to, it has become even more difficult to exist and function knowing that October is so far away. I often think about my days at the festival and how I managed to watch both the opening and closing films for the first time in three years. Talking to a few acquaintances that I made in 2017 and 2018 made me realize that I am not the only one.

Here are a few things that I have been doing over the past few weeks to make for the cinematic hunger that has suddenly dominated me.

Watch and Complete Previous Editions

In 2018, there was a guy who watched 27 films in six days. This is like an unachievable record for me. Because there’s a limit of four movies per day (that you can book online against your MAMI ID), and this guy booked three extra films by standing in queues. That’s five movies back to back between 10AM and 10PM, each at least 150 minutes long. I would be doing better if I had that kind of commitment for anything in my life.

But that’s not the point. The point is that if you are like me – whose record is a measly 13 per festival – then you have a lot of films to go back to. You’ll have even more if you skipped any of the recent editions of the festival because there are upwards of at least a 100 titles that are screened per year.

I am personally going to try and catch all the pending movies of the 2018 edition. I also created an ambitious list on IMDb so I have a headstart here. If you are looking for inspiration, here is a list of lists –

Lists to Catch Up Old MAMI MFF Movies

Other than these, IMDb itself has a separate section of films that were nominated/awarded in the festival. Have a look at the lists for as back as 2013 here.

Catch Up on MCU or GoT

Now I know that not everyone is a fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe or TV shows like Game of Thrones, but if you are and if you have been putting them aside for long, now is the time to catch up.

The latest Avengers installment is scheduled to release in a week’s time. Which makes April the perfect time to complete the three phases of MCU that lead up to it. Same for GoT as its final season is currently running on HBO (Hotstar in India).

If none of these franchises interest you, there are numerous other shows and movies in various genres available for consumption. Obviously. So go to IMDb or Letterboxd and take a look.

MAMI Year Round Programme

This should have been on top of my list. Because it is MAMI’s own way of answering the hunger of cinephiles after they are done with the festival every year.

The Year Round Programme is a subset of the MFF where MAMI organizes screenings (often premieres) of new movies and web shows at their partner theater network (PVR) throughout the year in Mumbai and Delhi. Access is free; members only have to sign up separately for the programme (on their website), wait for email invitations of new screenings, register their interest (as soon as possible because of the limited number of seats), and then wait for the confirmation.

If you’re an early bird and/or first-timer, you have high chances of getting a seat. On the other hand, if you get a confirmed seat and don’t show up, it will be hard for you to show your loyalty to the sweet MAMI people again.

The Year Round Programme hosts a lot of cool movies and web shows as MAMI directly partners with the producers and distributors. For example, their last show in Mumbai was the Oscar-winning documentary Free Solo, in association with National Geographic. In the past, they have screened Mard Ko Dard Nahi Hota, Sonchiriya, Made in Heaven (Amazon Prime Video), Green Book, and Stranger Things (Netflix) to name a few.

Made in Heaven at MAMI
A photo from the recent screening of Amazon’s Made in Heaven in Mumbai © MAMI

It’s a great initiative by MAMI because it gives a form of community to the participants. And more importantly, a way to stop missing the festival.

Embrace the Academy Awards

Or any international awards for that matter. I like to keep a track of the Oscars – winning films, nods, snubs, long shots, everything – and then predict which ones will win when the night comes. Unfortunately, I have never been able to watch all movies let alone predict correctly. But I still have at two lists prepared and ready:

These will be enough for at least 2-3 months from now, depending upon the number of titles you have seen already.

If Oscars are not your thing, you can pick any of the major international awards like the Golden Globes, BAFTAs, and Independent Spirit awards, or even Filmfare and Indian’s National Film awards. The idea is to continue watching films to keep the spirit high and constant. Heck, you may also consider the Razzies.


This might come as a surprise but let me at least make a case. The amount of information that is exchanged in this small Reddit community of Bollywood lovers is just breathtaking. All types of news, trailers, and trivia are discussed there every day by users from around the world.

They even have polls of new Bollywood releases, and unlike popular opinion, have constructive discussions that you can take part in. The community is also actively moderated, which means no spam, no advertisements. Just plain Bollywood worship.

Go and have a look here:

Young Critics Lab

This is not for me, but for people who are between the age of 18 and 25. If you are that young and still interested in cinema, the Young Critics Lab organized by MAMI every year will be a beautiful opportunity.

It is a short workshop for young students and professionals who want to get a little hands-on training about the basics of film criticism. The club’s favorite and National Award-winning critic Baradwaj Rangan conducts the workshop between July and October. He is sometimes supported by an international film critic. 2016 saw The Guardian‘s Peter Bradshaw come to Mumbai for the class while in 2017 (when I attended), TIME magazine’s Stephanie Zacharek made an appearance.

I wrote a detailed article about YCL last year which I think will be enough to push you to sign up if they host it this year. Keep your eyes and ears open in May/June when they usually announce it.


Lastly, and this is not very relevant here, there’s Sujay Kulkarni’s fantastic take on how to prepare for the festival. Writing for VICE, he captures the very essence of the festival – from ticket booking to finding obscure films outside of your watchlist to getting from one venue to another – in so less words.

Take a look as you revisit your own time at the festival last year… or five years ago. Whichever suits you.

Stay Tight

There is no doubt that the MFF has transformed into a national phenomenon if not a global one. Last year the ticket price was INR 500 (approx. $7) which surely helped increase the footfall. And with so many new members looking forward to the 2019 edition, I’m sure it will be grander this time.

The MFF is now officially open for entries. If you are a creator, you need to sign up and submit as soon as possible. Check out the website for more details. If you are unsure if your film belongs to MFF, check out the rules and regulations here. And don’t forget to follow MAMI on Twitter becausethat’s where the action is.

Here’s to six more months of hope-filled anticipation. TN.

The Definitive Guide to Surviving Shopping at DMart

It is a known fact that shopping at a DMart store can be a life-threatening experience. Which is why a guide like this is absolutely essential.

Today, shopping at DMart – the Indian chain of hypermarkets and a nightmare to local grocery shops – is an uphill task. Whatever day of the week or the time of the day or the store you choose to go shopping, you are going to meet the entire planet there. Kids and adults alike shopping like they are hoarding up for an apocalypse. And there’s no way you can have a peaceful grocery shopping experience in that mess. Unless you follow my directions.

I have shopped at DMart for the better part of my adult life, and I believe I have found the best practices that will take us as close as we can get to peaceful shopping in 2018. I can speak for all the DMart stores in Navi Mumbai and Mumbai in Maharashtra, but something tells me that these shopping tips can be adopted at stores across the nation. Here you go!

DMart Shopping Guide Basics

This guide considers the moment you enter the supermarket till the time you pay the bill and push your cart out of the exit gate. What you do before this matters but what you do after does not.

Men and women in the age group of 20-35 will be able to pull this off easily. People beyond that may find this childish and arduous. If you are one of them, feel free to spend your entire Sunday at DMart like you currently do.

You will also require basic communication (and apology feigning) skills to completely pull this off and shop for a month’s groceries within 60 minutes. This also means that this guide is best suitable for grocery shopping (DMart ground floor). I sometimes do go upstairs to buy a few odd home improvement things, but I usually do it in a jiffy so that I don’t lose my filled-up cart upon returning.

Sometimes I wish DMart really invested in their online store and made it more user-intuitive using all that money they raised through the IPO, but here we are in 2018 still queuing up with carts filled to the brim with stuff that we think is enough for the whole month until you reach home to realize that you missed the one thing you needed the most. Honey, I forgot the agarbattis!

Note – It is assumed that you know the layout of your preferred store.

dmart shopping

I’d give good money to shop at a DMart store after they down the shutters. © Photo by Fancycrave on Unsplash

A Guide to DMart Shopping in Mumbai

This guide has been developed using tactics experimented on a DMart store located in Navi Mumbai. I have divided this into four sections:

  1. Prerequisites
  2. When to go
  3. Navigating the aisles inside DMart
  4. Checking out

I have considered all the options so that everyone can make use of this guide according to their preferences. Come on now, let’s do some peaceful offline shopping at India’s largest hypermarket chain.


How you carry yourself while you go shopping is paramount to its success. Which is why you need to follow these tips carefully, no matter what.

Should You Go Alone or in a Group?

Consider going alone and taking a grocery list with you. Kids should never be taken along for reasons aplenty. The same goes for adult companions. It destroys the equilibrium needed to effectively and swiftly navigate the aisles in the third phase (see above). Wear something casual (tee, track pants, and sneakers).

Things to Carry

Don’t carry anything on you except a debit/credit card and some cash (at least a thousand rupees more than you estimate the total bill will be). Keep the wallet at home.

If you prefer traditional note-taking, carry a piece of paper for the grocery list. Otherwise, get a smartphone app. I prefer and recommend Xiaomi’s native notepad app. It’s by far the easiest checklist app. Remember that a phone is seen as a liability here as it is one extra thing you need to worry about. If you are thrifty like me, you can also carry large-size carry bags made of cloth depending upon your estimated cart size and volume. (Remember, plastic bags are banned in the state. There’s no enforcement, but better to be safe than sorry.)

How to Get There?

If you live nearby, consider walking to the store.

If you live far, there are three things you can try –

  • Take a public transport (autorickshaw is the best option here)
  • Drive your own vehicle (preferably a two-wheeler with space to keep the bags while returning) and park it not where everybody parks but at a place near to the store. While returning you can walk till there to avoid the crowd, hawkers, Greenpeace activists, and miscellaneous pamphlet distributors
  • If you plan to take a four-wheeler, beware of no-parking. There are a very few DMart stores in Mumbai that provide parking space, let alone free parking. To avoid your vehicle from getting towed away by opportunistic traffic police, use the method mentioned above
    • You may also get a sidekick who can drive you to the entrance and then go and park somewhere close by. After you check out, buzz them to come to pick you up. The downsides are that they will have to wait for around 60 minutes in the car before you finish your shopping and you will have to carry your phone. Going home and coming back is an option but fuel prices are rising.

When to Go

The new DMart timings are: 8 AM to 11 PM throughout the week. Assuming that you work from 9 AM to 5 PM on weekdays, you can either go after 7 PM or any time on Saturday or Sunday. But the problem is that everyone with the same schedule thinks alike. So, if you plan on going on a Saturday, there will be a thousand others who will do the same.

Unless you find out a pattern in how others think. Now, read carefully, because this is where I spew gold.

The perfect time to go DMart shopping is on a Sunday at 3.30 PM. Do it in the first week of the month for better deals and discounts.


Most people are tired at the end of a weekday. They think that others are too, so, they coordinate with their better halves and go shopping post work. They also think that people have off-days on weekends, so they don’t wait till Saturday. They usually do this on a Friday so that they can use the “weekend feeling” to push themselves and maybe get the bigger bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup. But, since everyone thinks like that, everybody flocks to the store unknown to the fact that they got there using the same thought process. They end up crowding the store. You go to a DMart store between 6 PM and 10 PM on a weekday and you are bound to meet people. Lots and lots of people. With their kids.

Some people have an off on Saturdays, too, so, they plan to go shopping on that day. Unfortunately, everyone who has an off on Saturdays thinks alike. And they all flock to the store. (Repeat.)

Come Sunday, and most people are tired and hung over from previous night’s party where they let their hair down. The two types of people – who have already shopped on a weekday or on Saturday – are happier that they do not want to do it on Sunday. They laze around in the couch till the “Monday feeling” kicks in.

Those who know that they have to do the shopping also laze around till it’s too late. And it’s already past 6 PM when they get up and start thinking about the things they want to get.

When you go shopping on a Sunday at 3.30 PM you will see empty aisles clear and broad enough to spot all those things that others have knocked over in an attempt to find the heaviest Kurkure packet. You can easily maneuver your cart and also don’t have to stand in a queue while at the counter. If you manage to do the shopping within 45 minutes, you can reach the goal of leaving the DMart store before there’s a crowd outside, especially at the baggage counter where serpentine queues are commonplace.

Navigating the Aisles Inside DMart

Once you have managed to enter the DMart store on a Sunday afternoon, the next step is to get a cart in good working condition. Make sure the tires roll easily and do not get stuck. Put the green-colored security bag in the cart and proceed to the good things in life: the grocery aisles of DMart.

dmart in mumbai

Such a sight is rare in a DMart store these days. © Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Pro Tip – If there is a queue at the cart area, don’t get in it. Instead, smile at the person who frisked you, move out of the store, and pull one by yourself. This will save you a few minutes and also earn you the envy of those standing in the queue. (Unfortunately, this may not be possible for women as they will have to again get frisked, which happens in a small, closed makeshift room.)

The strategy is to find a secluded place at the center of the ground floor and park the cart there. Instead of moving it around, it is better to briskly walk around, get the things you want, and stash them into the parked cart. I have tested and compared this with the traditional method, and it saves up to 15 minutes. I understand this looks a bit silly, but trust me it’s the best way. This is also the reason why I suggested the age group above.

Consider the grocery list but don’t follow its order. Instead, follow the layout of DMart and collect things as you move from one end to another.

Don’t Look at the Price

If you are going to be buying things that you need, then there’s no need to look at the prices. Especially for those groceries that you buy every month. Instead, look out for BOGO offers and discounts and festive deals and base your shopping on them. DMart sometimes also makes announcements, so, do keep an ear open. You might also catch some conversations between other shoppers and get some ideas. (Fun tip – some couples get real naughty even while they are shopping for a soap.)

Going Upstairs

If you plan to check out the higher levels of DMart, make sure you park your filled cart in a place that is secure from “good thieves”. You may have not come across them but sometimes the DMart staff will take your unattended cart and park it in the godown area to make space for other shoppers. Getting it back is always a struggle and adds time to your shopping activity.

If you plan to buy multiple things, consider getting a basket temporarily.

Checking Out

Once all the items in the grocery list are checked out, you should make a move to the counter area. This is one of the most crowded and confusing places in a DMart store. Due to a lack of space, there are serial as well as parallel counters. If you manage to reach the counter area before 4.30 PM, you will not find any queues. Maybe one or two people tops.

But, if there are long queues at each counter, you should consider the serial ones next to them. Of course, getting to these counters (on the nether side of the hall) will be a struggle, but it will be worth it. This is against the idea of “herd mentality” which is at full display at any DMart counter area. It is okay if you chafe a tire over a kid’s toe because peaceful shopping cannot be traded without sacrifices.

Once you are at the counter and are done with the billing, help the person who is filling your bags. This will expedite the process and you can also share a smile when it’s done. The person behind you will also thank you in his mind unless the chocolates at display have gotten the fancy of their toddler.

It is when you do your grocery shopping quickly that you achieve peace. And with this guide, you most certainly will.

How to Survive the Initial Days Of Degree After Diploma?

A lot of people had to say a lot of things about an article that I wrote on why diploma before degree in Engineering might be a bad idea for most (in India). So, here’s a follow-up in case you still took the diploma route: a primer of sorts on how to survive the initial period of engineering degree (BE or B.Tech) after you have completed your diploma.

A friend of mine also just painfully completed three years of his life-changing four-year diploma course (which included a year of training as part of the curriculum) and he is kinda in a kettle of fish unable to cope up. This guide is for people like him.

What is the Degree Situation After Diploma?

You have just passed out of diploma and you aspire to enroll for an engineering degree course in some extremely fashionable college with decent education and faculty. SIES Graduate School of Technology in Nerul, Navi Mumbai, for instance. Mind you, every single college is different in its own way but when it comes to the quality of education and faculty and other ‘features’, things are almost the same across Mumbai. What matters is how you manage yourself and your studies while you are in college. I say this not because I have studied in different colleges, but because I have honest friends who all write or talk about them endlessly.

And you are worried about how you will cope up with a new group of students because you will be a direct second-year student. Worry not, because in no particular order, here are the things that you should worry about as well as how you can get past them…

Issues to Deal with in Your First Year of Engineering

  • Quota or No Quota: The online admission process sucks. You need to choose which one university you will opt for the next three years of your life. Some options are the politically controlled University of Mumbai, the unmindful Pune University, and some other state universities like the popular ones in Chennai and New Delhi. After you get out of the selection universe (that’s a bad pun), think about your ancestral origins. If your cast certificate (get one immediately if you don’t have it; domicile and creamy layer certificates are equally important; Aadhaar card too) says SC/ST/NT/OBC or any other caste that falls in the “minority” category you need not worry at all. Colleges will come to your doorstep. If you are one of those ‘open’ caste-wala, then we are rowing the same boat (although I reached the beach in 2015). Worry not, colleges like SIES, Father Agnel’s, and K J Somaiya have minority quota for the poor ‘open’ guys which means if you are a south-Indian or a Gujarati, procuring a seat will be slightly easier in these colleges. Consider all the choices you have. Do not consult your relatives
  • Scholarships: Your fees will be in the range of a few lakhs depending upon the admission criteria i.e. donation or no donation; in comparison, students who come in through the caste quota pay only a fraction of what you pay. Once you start attending the lectures, make sure you check for the websites of trusts which give scholarships. For Gujaratis, there are hundreds of community-run trusts. But we all – open folks – should be interested in the Sir Dorabji Tata Trust Scholarship, which will give you your full fees back, or at least 90% of it. Trust me, 90% people who apply for it get the cash. The good part is: you can apply every year; the bad part: you have to score above 80% aggregate. Your chances of getting the scholarship increases if you go beyond 90%
  • Extra Lectures: Most colleges who want their students to do well academically will conduct extra classes. Sit for these lectures and you won’t have anything to complain
  • Tuition/Classes/Mentors: I won’t suggest any of them. I have friends (who were toppers during diploma) that flunked in subjects even after giving thousands to those professors who have the most bumptious nicknames like “Don”, “Raja”, “RR” of RR classes, “Mangal”, “Hero”, and “Saviour”. They will eat your wallet and time. Many people who join these classes boast about how their professors had set the previous year’s paper and how they are sure they will get a whiff of what questions will come in the present year. They are either lying or being fooled by their tutors.[1]However, recently I have found that these claims are true. Especially professors who are tied to the University of Mumbai. They do act unscrupulously and list out questions that are bound to appear in the final board exams. People suggest you take extra classes for Mathematics, but I will recommend you to first get your basics clear by buying some reference books of first year engineering degree. They work if you study well. Also, do not rely on Techmax publications which only spoon-feed you the concepts and make you forget them when the need arises. Get hold of actual author books and things will be much different. I have read Bhargava’s Basic Electronic System two times and now years after I completed engineering, I still know how a BJT works. Or do I?
  • Efforts: Do a little (10%) more than what you did during your diploma times. That ten percent will give rise to about forty percent in degree, which is the minimum passing mark
  • Teacher’s Pet: This doesn’t work in degree. Teachers already have their pets, and diploma students are considered aliens. Your best bet is to eye a new-comer professor. He/She will support you like you will support him. And if he/she talks your mother’s tongue, bingo!
members of agnel polytechnic student council 2011
My time at the student council during diploma days helped me face the degree days. That’s me fourth from the left.
  • The Student Council: Try and join it. People (both teachers and students) will know you and soon, things will be nice and easy. This is by far the best thing to do in order to survive the initial period of degree after diploma in engineering. Because even if you cannot fare well in studies, these extracurricular activities will keep you going. After all, college life should be a mix of studies and fun.[2]As suggested by a close friend Sushanth Nair, it will take more than the student council to become popular in college. You will have to be lively and extremely social. You should know people, and above that, know how to interact with them. You also need not join a council to be popular among the people. Just skip the lectures and hang out around the canteen patting cats or dogs. If people notice you, bingo!

I won’t stretch this because I don’t have the power to turn an introvert into an extrovert. There’s one more soft rule that you can follow in your first few weeks in engineering degree: talk to as many people as you can and build healthy relationships. This could be with your classmates, college mates, professors, stationery shopkeepers, chaiwallas, etc. The more people you know the better you will swim out of your engineering course.

All I can say is, everyone can pull this off if they believe they really want to excel in this field. Concentration is key. If something doesn’t seem right, talk about it with your family. Or girlfriend. Or boyfriend. And then maybe change your career path. It is the 21st century and you don’t have to stick to a course if you don’t feel like it. TN.

Featured image courtesy: @rizsam (Unsplash)

Update: Copyedited; revised. (31 January 2019)

Update #2: Copyedited; removed stereotypes related to the caste system; added images. (19 September 2019)


1 However, recently I have found that these claims are true. Especially professors who are tied to the University of Mumbai. They do act unscrupulously and list out questions that are bound to appear in the final board exams.
2 As suggested by a close friend Sushanth Nair, it will take more than the student council to become popular in college. You will have to be lively and extremely social. You should know people, and above that, know how to interact with them. You also need not join a council to be popular among the people. Just skip the lectures and hang out around the canteen patting cats or dogs. If people notice you, bingo!